We’re all different. You are a dreamer. He is very thoughtful. She is the sensitive one. They are straight. and I’m ... well, I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.

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Friday, March 25, 2011

176) and I find myself wishing that it wasn't real :'(


Ahmed ra7.. ya tara eldor 3ala min?

Pain is all what I can feel.. and I find myself wishing that it wasn't real.. He left leaving us all hurt and making us suuuffer.. screaming out loud "aaaaaaah"!!! it is not easy.. it is hard.. loosing him is sooooo hard.. it is a heavy load to bear.. it still doesn't seem real.. it is Kabouuus and I just feel I want to wake up out of this kabous.. I am not sure if words can describe my exact feelings but the pain I feel now will probably never go away; this is exactly what I am feeling right now! two days passed and I am still in shock and I can't believe that it is happened, but it did.. it did!!! :'''((( Nothing is worst than the death of a loved family one.. he was young and full of life and life will never be the same walahi will never be the same tani.. I can still feel the soft touch on my shoulder of his loving hand.. I can still hear his voice telling me "I believe in you ya habibti".. "malek ya Rawanie? matfakarish ketir ya habibti".. ana mabsout menek 3alashan betakhdi balek min se7etek".. "3awez ashoufek beted7aki 3alatoul".. tab how can I smile now?!! I lie in bed and crrrrry at night and don't feel better in the morning light.. I will love you and miss you forever until the day we are again together in that perfect place in-sha2-Allah filled with caring, sharing, and love.. but until this day comes I will miss you every moment of life.. you were very close to me.. you were my best friend and brother.. you were my very dear cousin.. you will be always in my mind.. forever in my heart.. you will be missed ya Ahmed but never forgotten ya habibi :'(

bera7a 3alaya ya Rab :'( ...

9 comments:

Unknown said...

el baka2 lellah ya habebty.....rabena yedeeky el 3mr ya habebty.....i know he meant a lot to u.....but we are all there sooner or later w enty daymn 2elly betoly keda,,sa7???.....rabena yer7amo w yesabarko 3la fora2o ya rabb.....

Anonymous said...

besm Allah masha2 allah wallahy 3omry ma shoft gam3 Rab3a zay mashoto el naharda Allahoma adkhelo fasee7 gannatek wa'ghfer laho--- Ameen! enty kaman habebty konty menawara bel 2eeman mesh 2ana bass 2elly ba2oool mama & doaa kaman shafooky menawara wallahy-- rabena yonzel 3la 2anqua 2alb 3erfto al sakeena ya raaaaaaab we 2ana 3arfaky gamda mahma kanet el sadma gamda enty agmad menha we hat3deeha be quowet 2eemanek

Nouna 3arfa in mesh wa2to bass mesh adra ma2olsh ennek ammmmmmar f el sora ma7shoora fe zory-- 7lwa awyyy masha2allah beautiful kid! Nesreen

Hebba said...

that's why u disappeared today.i understand. i can trace your feelings wallahi. long time ago i lost my cousin bardo in a second.and it still hurts. ma3lesh.rabena yer7amhom gami3an, we yegma3na biehom 3ala kheir.

Anonymous said...

2alby dayman me3aky ya ro7y :( keep the happy memories in your heart ya rouna and it will help you ya habebty through this difficult time
te3rafy lama bashoofek mesh ba3raf 2aool 7aga, e7na kolena bnet3lem mennek el gomodeya ya amar rabena ye2weeky dayman ya rab w yzeedek men koll el 7agat el 7elwa 2elly gowaky.
bass eh el 7lawa di ya rouna zay el 3assal men yomek
rabena ydeeky el 3omr el taweel w el se7a ya rab and may he rest in peace.

soha

Amir said...

My thoughts are with you during this sad time dearest Rawanie... May God give you and your family the strength to overcome it

May God bless his soul

Anonymous said...

7abibty i know there is no words can heal ur wound aw te'7afef 3anek bas dah 2mr rabena wala rad le kada2eh w2nty 7d mo2men 2wy we 3aref keda I know how u feel I lost my little sister long time ago I still feel the pain
all what we can do is to pray to allah 3shan yelhemna elsabr .

so I'll pray for u dear 2n rabena yedeeky elsabr we elkwa we yennazel 3laiky sakinto ISA rabena m3aky 7abibty

nony

Anonymous said...

Ossama Sultan

Awalan el baqa2 lelah.
seems that he left you with a great pain :( i am sorry for your loss and i pray that ALLAH may ease your pain .

Nouna said...

Thank you dears
and amin to your prayers ya Rab
what is lost is lost.. khalas nooothing can make it up.. I only count on time, in sha2 Allah it will heal everything..

Thanks again and please keep praying

al7amdulellah..

Nouna said...

From a dear and true friend


"Dear Rawanie,

so sorry to hear about your cousin, I tried to leave you a comment on the post but some how it's not working.

I hope you're feeling better.
Please keep praying for him, believe me it's the best to be done for both of you.

May God grant him heaven and you peace of heart, and may you never again suffer the loss of a loved one.

all my condolences my friend.


Rehab Ahmed"