We’re all different. You are a dreamer. He is very thoughtful. She is the sensitive one. They are straight. and I’m ... well, I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.

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Showing posts with label Excerpt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Excerpt. Show all posts

Thursday, December 1, 2011

217) !.. في ديسمبر تنتهي كل الأحلام


علينا أن نحكم على الاشخاص من خلال أسئلتهم بدلاً من ان نحكم عليهم من خلال اجاباتهم
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ان سبب الاضطراب والقلق هو الإلحاح في معرفة الاشياء
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في داخل كل انسان وطن خاص به ! .. الإنسان لا ينتمي الى رقعة .. الانسان ينتمي الى دواخله
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أعرف اليوم بأن المرأة هي طريق الرجل الى الحرية .. وحدها المرأة قادرة على ان تحررنا من عبوديتنا .. على الرغم من انها وحدها ايضاً من يقدر على ان يستعبدنا
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المرأة هي لغز الحياة .. سرها .. مأزقها الاصعب الذي لا يفهم
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عادة الرجل لا ينسى المرأة الاولى في حياته مهما مر في حياته من نساء
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بعض الأحداث والحوادث التي نمر فيها تعيد تشكيل حيواتنا من جديد .. نشعر بعدها وكأننا ولدنا أشخاصاً آخرين .. أشخاصاً لم يعودوا يشبهون أنفسهم !
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الحب يجعلنا نتمسك بسراب الامكانية .. بوهم المعجزة .. الحب يجعلنا نتأمل حتى نموت أملاً .. وألماً
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مجتمعنا هو أكثر المجتمعات مازوشية .. يتلذذ بجلد نفسه .. يستمتع بإستعباد أفراده لبعضهم بعضاً .. ولم اكن لأقبل بأن اكمل حياتي في تلك الارض التي أعرف اليوم بأنها لم تحبني يوماً
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الحياة هي أنثى خائنة في كل يوم لها عشيق جديد .. انثى مزاجية الهوى .. انثى لا تؤتمن بالسعادة قط !
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الكتب لا تولد الا مع الخيبات .. خيبات القدر وحدها هي التي تدفعنا لان نكتب
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أعرف أننا لا نودع الحزن الا لنستقبل آخر
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الحياة لئيمة .. لئيمة جداً مع الاذكياء وكأنها تعاقبهم على محاولتهم لفهمها ولسبر أغوارها
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في حياة كل امرىء منا .. خيط رفيع يربطه بالحياة .. ما ان ينقطع هذا الخيط حتى نفقد الرغبة في التنفس .. والاستيقاظ والتفكير والعيش .. وهي الخيط الذي يبقيني حياً .. فكيف امارس الحياة بلا رابط يربطني بها !
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بعض الذكريات عندما تقفز في ذاكرتنا وبعض الماضيين الذي يظهرون فجأة في حيواتنا بين الحين والآخر يجعلوننا نبتسم لا سعادة ولا تهكماً بل لان شيئاً ماضياً جميلاً واحيانا مراً .. زارنا في وقت لم نتوقع فيه أية زيارات من الامس البعيد
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لما نقامر بالحب والاستقرار والراحة والامان والطمأنينة والعشرة من اجل نزوة غالباً ما نندم عليها
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عندما تبكينا الاغاني .. فهذا يعني بأننا اما في أقصى حالات الوجع .. او أننا في أشد اوقات الحاجة .. كلا الشعورين أمرُ من العلقم
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من قال بأن الحب يمنحنا الحياة ؟ .. الحب يجتث الاستقرار منا .. الحب يغيرنا .. يغيرنا تماماً
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أصعب ما في الحب هو ان ترتبط عاداتك بالطرف الآخر لأن تلك العادات تعذبنا بعدما ننفصل عن من نحب .. عادة التفاصيل هي التي تشدنا .. هي التي تبهرنا .. وانا رجل يحب التفاصيل الصغيرة .. يعشقها !
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الألم يؤثر فينا ضعف ما تفعله بنا اللذة
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الحياة لا تحترم الحزانى ولا تحترم احزانهم .. وانا رجل يحتاج لان تقف الحياة له احتراماً .. انا رجل لن يحني رأسه للحياة .. وان حطمتني الحياة فحسبي اني صمدت ولم انهزم
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إن الكتاب يكتبون ليمرروا من خلال روايتهم رسائل خاصة لمن عبروا في حيواتهم !
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نحن لا نختار ما نكتب ولا نختلقه .. نحن ننقل الكلمات على الورق بطريقتنا ..بصياغتنا ..فالكتابة وحي يوحى الينا من حيث لا نعلم
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يخيل لي احيانا ان الاقدار تسرق من افواهنا التوقعات لتدونها كأحداث مستقبلية .. لذا بت حريصاً جداً مع القدر .. اصبحت لا اتفوه بأمور قد يخطفها من فمي ليقيدها في دفتر المستقبل ويحققها من دون رغبة فعلية مني بأن تتحقق !
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الشقاء يكتب على كل مبدع .. لان للخلود فاتورة يجب على العظيم دفعها .. فلا خلود بلا ثمن ! .. ولا إبداع بلا شقاء .. السعادة لا تدفعنا لأن نكتب أدباً على الاطلاق .. الادب هو ما يحزننا .. ما يبكينا .. الادب عميق الجذور في فلسفة البكاء
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كنت مؤمنا بأن البكاء من شيم النساء .. لكن الحياة علمتني ان البكاء من شيم الاسوياء
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في هذا الزمان نحن لا نميز ما بين الاسوياء والمنحرفين .. فمظاهر النوعين باتت تتشابه .. وسلوكياتهم تكاد ان تصبح ذاتها
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انا اليوم اعرف بأن الأقدار التي تفقدنا عقولنا بالحب والفن والادب هي اقدار تستحق ان تحترم .
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الحياة اللغز .. هي مجموعة من المتشابهات المختلفات المتناقضات . فكلنا نعيش الحكاية ذاتها .. ولكل واحد منا حكايته الخاصة التي تشابه حكايات الآخرين وتختلف عنهم في الوقت ذاته .. تجمعنا كلنا قصة واحدة بتفاصيل مختلفة وتختلف قصصنا بتفاصيل متشابهة .. وتظل الحياة سراً لا يفهم مهما حاولنا إستيعابها
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بعض الناس عظماء لان المحيطين بهم صغار
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حكايات الحب التي نمر بها خلال حياتنا .. هي تاريخنا الجميل .. تصرفاتنا الحمقاء .. احلامنا الغبية .. خيالاتنا اللامعقولة في الحب هي ما تضحكنا عندما نتذكرها في وقت لا يضحكنا فيه شيء
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الحب الحقيقي هو ما يدفعنا لان نبتسم على الرغم منا .. مهما كانت ذكرى هذه الحب قاسية .. مهما كانت حزينة ومرة .. وكيفما انتهى هذا الحب .. يبقى الحب هو ما يضحكنا وما يجلعنا نبتسم بعد إلتئام جراحنا وعلى الرغم من الندوب
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الحياة احيانا تدفعنا لأن نتلوى ألماً حينما تجرنا على ان نقدم على خيارات مرة
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اننا نقضي نصف العمر ونحن ننتظر لقاء من سنحبهم والنصف الآخر في وداع الذين احببناهم
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ما معنى ان تحقق نجاحاً علمياً ومجداً ادبياً ان لم نحقق اي انجاز عاطفي ! .. ما فائدة المجد والشهرة ان لم يكن هناك سعادة .. السعادة العاطفية!ا
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!.. في ديسمبر تنتهي كل الأحلام

Monday, October 24, 2011

216) .. وداعاً .. الكاتب الكبير أنيس منصور


مقتطفات من أجمل ما سطر
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"إن السعادة تنتقل بالعدوي .. لا تنتظر عدوي أحد .. كن حاملاً لهذا الميكروب"
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"لا أحد في هذه الدنيا يساوي أن تتعذب وحدك بسببه ومن أجله .. لا أحد .. صدقني! .. فليس لك إلا نفسك .. إلا جسمك .. إلا عقلك .. إلا راحتك ..
فأنت ضروري جداً لنفسك .. ولست ضرورياً لأي أحد آخر .. فكما كانت الدنيا قبلك .. فسوف تبقي بعدك ..
فاهرب من نفسك .. إلي نفسك .. نصيحة مني .. ولا علاج غير ذلك ..!"
---
"إذا فاتك شئ فقد يذهب إلي غيرك .. ويحمل له السعادة ..
فلتفرح لفرحه .. ولا تحزن علي ما فاتك ..
فهل يعيد الحزن ما فقدت ؟!ا"
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"فرق كبير إنك تحبها لأنها جميلة .. وأن تكون جميلة لأنك تحبها"
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"في الموضة امشي مع التيار .. لكن في الأخلاق .. كن كالصخرة"
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لو سُئلت: ما الذي تريد أن تشربه دون أن تفيق؟
لقلت: عصير الكتب .. وخلاصة الفكر .. ومسحوق الفلسفة"
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"كل شئ عند الأطفال له قيمة .. له وزن .. له فائدة .. كل شئ مثلهم طفل مليان حياة وحماساً .. كل شئ يتحدث إليهم .. وينشغل بهم ..
إنهم لا يعرفون الملل"
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"لكي تكوني سعيدة معه .. يجب أن تفهميه كثيراً .. وتحبيه قليلاً
ولكي تكون سعيداً معها .. يجب أن تحبها كثيراً .. ولا تحاول أن تفهمها أبداً"
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"لا تغضب من أحد .. فأنت أسوأ كثيراً مما تعتقد"
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"الإنسان القارئ .. لا يُهزم"
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Thursday, October 13, 2011

215) Stop Dreaming of Having a Happy Life.. Wake Up.. and GO for it!


“Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today. Inhabit your moments. Don’t rent them out to tomorrow. Do you know what you’re doing when you spend a moment wondering how things are going to turn out with Perry?

You’re cheating yourself out of today. Today is calling to you, trying to get your attention, but you’re stuck on tomorrow, and today trickles away like water down a drain. You wake up the next morning and that today you wasted is gone forever. It’s now yesterday. Some of those moments may have had wonderful things in store for you , but now you’ll never know.”

- Jerry Spinelli :: Stargirl

...

Monday, September 5, 2011

213) One Stupid Person!

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."


- Neil Gaiman [The Kindly Ones]
...

Monday, June 27, 2011

206) ... أوراق الورد


"وانتظرت رد كتابي أو ورقة من شجر عتابي .. فما زالت تتقطع الساعة من الساعة ويلتقي اليوم باليوم .. ويذهب اللوم إلى العتاب ويجيء العتاب إلى اللوم .. وكتابك على ذلك كأنه مغمى عليه لا هو في يقظة ولا هو في نوم . . .

فسبحان من علم آدم الأسماء كلها لينطق بها .. وعلمك أنت من دون أبنائه وبناته السكوت ...والسلام عليك في ازلية جفائك التي لا تنتهي .. أما أنا فالسلام على يوم ولدت ويوم أموت ."!!ا
...
أوراق الورد
- مصطفي صادق الرافعي

Thursday, May 19, 2011

192) The Pact


"Do you know what it's like to love someone so much, that you can't see yourself without picturing her? Or what it's like to touch someone, and feel like you've come home? What we had wasn't about sex, or about being with someone just to show off what you've got, the way it was for other kids our age. We were, well, meant to be together. Some people spend their whole lives looking for that one person. I was lucky enough to have her all along."
...

"I, um, I have this problem. I broke up with my boyfriend, you see. And I'm pretty upset about it, so I wanted to talk to my best friend. [...] The thing is, they're both you."
...

"He began to trace a pattern on the table with the nail of his thumb. "She kept saying she wanted to keep things exactly the way they were, and that she wished she could stop everything from changing. She got really nervous, like, talking about the future. She once told me that she could see herself now, and she could also see the kind of life she wanted to have - kids, husband, suburbs, you know - but she couldn't figure out how to get from point A to point B."
...

" Just because you can’t see the wound doesn’t mean it isn’t hurting"
...

"Any highway . . . they all take you to the same place, don't they?"
...

"There is no one truth. There’s only what happened, based on how you perceive it."
...

"My whole life was about her, what if her whole life wasn’t all about me?"
...

- Jodi Picoult (The Pact)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

146) بائعة جرائد آخر الليل .. وأنا

إِنَّمَا قَوْلُنَا لِشَيْءٍ إِذَا أَرَدْنَاهُ أَنْ نَقُولَ لَهُ كُنْ فَيَكُونُ
. . .
بأقولك إيه يا حاج .. نفرض إن واحد وواحدة بيحبوا بعض .. وربنا رايد لهم يتجوزوا .. يبقي لازم يتجوزوا .. ولا ممكن لأ؟
ربنا سبحانه وتعالي لو كان كاتب لهم يتزوجوا .. فسوف يتزوجوا طبعا
أصل أنا بأحب واحد .. وأمي مش موافقة إني أتجوزه
أنا لم أعلق
بقي بالذمة واحد عنده تلاتة وعشرين سنة ما يتجوزش؟
يتجوز ونص .. لكن لازم يكون جاهز للحكاية دي
إزاي يعني؟
يكون عنده شغل مثلا
أمي بتقول إنه ماعندوش حاجة .. مش راضية .. وتمتمت: وإحنا بنحب بعض
أخبرتها أن أمها تبحث عن مصلحتها
قالت: آه
ورفعت وجهها الذي بللته الدموع: لكن لو ربنا كاتبه لي .. يبقي لازم أتجوزه .. وطظ فيها .. صح؟
هو لو ربنا رايد يبقي طظ في أمك .. وفي البلد كلها
ابتسمت مطمئنه رغم دموعها :") والنبي تستني شوية

من كتاب شئ من هذا القبيل
إبراهيم أصلان -

رغم إختلاف الطبقات .. والجنسيات .. والأديان .. فكل يعلم أنه الله - هو الله!ا
. . .
تُسَبِّحُ لَهُ السَّمَاوَاتُ السَّبْعُ وَالْأَرْضُ وَمَنْ فِيهِنَّ ۚ وَإِنْ مِنْ شَيْءٍ إِلَّا يُسَبِّحُ بِحَمْدِهِ وَلَٰكِنْ لَا تَفْقَهُونَ تَسْبِيحَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّهُ كَانَ حَلِيمًا غَفُورًا
. . .

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

129) I Believe in Fate ...


" I believe that every single day people are offered the chance to make the best possible decision about everything they do. I believe that I failed and that, at some point, I lost my connection with the woman I loved. and now, all I need is to put an end to that cycle. That's why I want the map, so that I can go to her".

- Paulo Coelho
...

I Believe in Fate. I believe that the world would be happier if just two people, even two, were happier.
...

Monday, November 8, 2010

124) In a relationship, married, or not ... Just read this!

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
- Kimmies Floral
. . .
Sometimes God give us diamond and we are too busy collecting stones! and when we finally know their value ... it's always too late and we lost all the chances God gave us to cherish the bless of the only true and unconditional love happened in our life!
. . .

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

121) :D ... ونمــا الود العميـــق بيننـــا

" ولكننـا في المطـار تعانقنـا عناقا حارا .. إبراهيم وأنا .. وترقرقت دموع في عيوننــا .. لم تكن العداوة قد انمحت فحسب .. ولكننــا بعد أن كشـف كل منـا للآخر جراحه .. وتعرف علي ندوبه .. نما الود العميــق بيننــا فجأة!! وكأننا لم نعرف الخصام في أي يوم "

من كتاب الحب في المنفي ::: بهاء طاهر

الســؤال: ما الفرق بيـن الود والمعروف؟ وأي ود أقوي .. الود الجميل أم الود العميق؟
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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

109) من كتاب نقطة النور :: بهاء طاهر


لماذا تبكين؟ . . . هل قلت شيئا؟
: مسحت لبني دموعها براحتيها وقالت بعد لحظة
لا يا سالم. لم تقل شيئا. تمنيت لو تقول شيئا!ا -
سألها في حيرة: ماذا أقول؟
فابتسمت ابتسامة صغيرة وهي تقول: حدثني ماذا يقول جدك عن الأرواح؟
يقول كل الأرواح جميلة وكلها طيبة -
وهل قال لك يا سالم ما الذي ينقذ هذه الأرواح؟ -
.نعم. قال الحب -
. . .
من أجمل ما قرأت ... رواية تشبه الجميع!ا
. . .

Saturday, July 3, 2010

86) What Does The World Want Of Me!

If I must be faithful to someone or something, then I have, first of all, be faithful to myself. If I’m looking for true love, I first have to get the mediocre loves out of my system. The little experience of life I’ve had has thought me that no one owns anything, that everything is an illusion - and that applies to material as well as spiritual things. Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever (as has happened often enough to me already) finally comes to realize that nothing really belongs to them.
And if nothing belongs to me, then there’s no point wasting my time looking after things that aren’t mine; it’s best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life.
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